The Undertaking of Adam Novak Read online

  I walk to the dresser where she keeps well over a dozen photos lined up; photos of her and Aaron, of Jaycob with mom and dad, one of me holding Aaron on the day he was born.

  –

  After I confessed my love to Tianna that night in July our relationship changed. It became uncomfortable to be around each other. We stopped hanging out and doing the things we used to do before I opened my damn mouth. We were courteous, but nothing was ever the same. My parents were oblivious to the situation, or if they suspected something they never said. The older we got, the more awkward it became and so after I graduated high school, I joined the Air Force and left home. When I returned, four years later, things had changed. Tianna had a boyfriend and I met my wife soon thereafter.

  Remember how I told you that we never spoke of my feeling again? Well, this changed when Aaron was born. Tianna’s boyfriend and the father of her baby ran out on them. He simply left town and no one ever heard from him again. When I learned that Levy left, I jumped in wanting to save the day. I told Tianna that I wanted to be there for her and Aaron and I even proposed to her. I would get a divorce, marry Tianna and become a father to Aaron. I had it all planned out. Unfortunately, Tianna didn’t think it would work out and so I remained married and Tianna raised her boy on her own.

  –

  I’m not sure what I’m doing in her room or what I’m hoping to find. Was Tianna sick? Should I have requested an autopsy? I press my fingers to my eyes for a moment, then take one more look around before leaving.

  7

  AARON

  Aaron has never seen Jaycob so angry and upset before. It shocked him to see that reaction. He ran out of Jaycob’s room and went to his, hopped on the bed and drew the sheets over his head.

  Aaron’s mom was the only one who understood Jaycob, the one who talked to him when he was upset. She was like a mother to him so Aaron understood the pain. How can this be? He wonders. How can his mom be gone?

  He closes his eyes and tears stream down the side of his face, making pools of tears in each ear. He hears the door open but is too scared to lose his cover. Someone sits next to him but doesn’t say anything for some time.

  “I’m sorry if I scared you.” It’s Jaycob.

  Aaron finally uncovers his face and sees Jaycob sitting on the bed with his head down, cracking his knuckles. Aaron pushes off the covers and sits next to him.

  “This fucking sucks,” Jaycob whispers.

  Aaron is indifferent to the cursing. Jaycob always says swear words when they’re alone or playing video games. Sometimes they just slip out in front of Uncle Adam or Aaron’s mom and they get mad. But that’s who Jaycob is and how he talks.

  Jaycob takes another breath and they stay quiet for a while. Aaron is scared though. He doesn’t know who will take care of him now and so he decides to share his fears.

  “What are we gonna do now?”

  Jaycob rubs his eyes with one hand. “We… uh. We’ll be okay. I know we’ll miss her. God, we’ll miss her, but…” He can’t go on because he starts to cry and Aaron puts an arm around him.

  “Uncle Adam said he won't leave us.”

  “I know he won't. That's what I mean about us being okay.”

  Aaron nods.

  They are quiet for a while longer and Aaron walks over to his desk where he picks up a photo of his mom where she’s smiling her comforting smile. The photo is from the yearbook of the school where she works. Aaron used to take it with him to school after his grandparents died. His mom gave it to him. “So you don’t feel lonely,” she’d said and it worked. Aaron didn’t feel alone then and he kept it with him for an entire year, in his backpack.

  Without looking at Jaycob he says, “I hope he doesn't take us to his house.”

  “He can’t,” Jaycob assures him. “I’m old enough.”

  “Yeah, but what about me? You know how I feel about Irene and she hates me.” Aaron returns the photo, then walks back to the bed to lie down. “Can I stay here, with you?” he asks, looking at the ceiling.

  “We’ll see what Adam says.”

  Aaron is still scared. He doesn’t want to leave his house—the only one he's ever known. Tears begin to fall again and Jaycob is no longer talking.

  The silence goes on for a long time and Aaron’s eyelids start to close. He hears Jaycob speak, but has no idea what he’s saying as he fades into a place where things might still be the same. He hopes that when he wakes up, the nightmare will be over.

  8

  JAYCOB

  When Jaycob realizes that he’s talking to himself, he stands and goes back to his room for his phone. He lets work know what’s going on and his boss tells him to take whatever time he needs. He’s standing in his room by the window. The rain has passed and the clouds are starting to break, allowing sunlight into the small room. He feels like he’s in a fog, uncertain of what to do, of what will happen next.

  He recalls the day his parents died, how lost he felt. Thank God Tianna was there for him then. What now? He thinks. It’s way worse now. Tianna was his big sister, his guide in everything. She was always so patient with him.

  After Jaycob received the GAD diagnosis at the age of thirteen, Tianna immediately did research. She told him she wanted to be well equipped to face it together. She became his coach, his guidance and support.

  Without her now he feels lost. More than lost. Broken. But he also understands that he’s older now and needs to step up. He will be there for Aaron and make sure that he’s okay.

  9

  ADAM

  The funeral director asks if Tianna has life insurance. If so, does the policy have any loans against it or any lapses, and I tell her that I don’t know. Her questions overwhelm me because I’m starting to see that I know nothing about Tianna. It not only overwhelms me but aggravates me. I’m angry with myself for being so goddamn unprepared, and angry with her. She was a single mother for fuck’s sake. How could she not think about these things? What, did she think she was going to live forever? I take a calming breath and assure the director that I will give her answers the following day during our meeting.

  I stand by the living room window looking outside waiting for the anger to dissolve.

  “How’s Aaron?” I say in hopes that Jaycob will calm down as his pacing is making me nervous, especially when I haven’t a clue what to say to him.

  “He fell asleep.” Jaycob stops pacing, hangs his head and sits on the chair by the front door—still cracking his knuckles. I sit on the sofa, rest my head back and close my eyes as he starts to cry.

  “I don't know what to do,” he says with a sob.

  My frustration and impatience grow with each sob. Jaycob and I have never been the best spilling our guts to the other so I’m not quite sure how to respond, how to talk or even console him.

  “About?”

  “Everything. I can't believe she's…” his voice keeps breaking. “She was okay last night, man. Now…”

  I’m trying to think of what to say to him while I manage to blink away the tears that burn behind my eyes. I can’t break down. Not in front of him because he needs me to be the strong one.

  “I don't get it, Jake.”

  “Makes no sense,” he says and goes to the kitchen.

  –

  He serves us old coffee and I sit at the table, feeling exhausted. I’d returned from a business trip the previous night and haven’t had much sleep. I place my elbows on the table and massage my temples—the last thing I need is a damn headache.

  “Did you call Julia?” says Jaycob.

  “I called her earlier, but haven't heard back.”

  “I tried her also. She’s not going to care. You know that, right?”

  “But she still needs to know, Jake. It’s common courtesy.”

  “What about Irene?”

  I’m reluctant to answer and take a sip of the nasty coffee. “I'll tell her later.”

  Exhausted, I get to my feet and go to the sink to wash the mug. The kitchen, like
the rest of the house, is always clean. It’s the largest room in the house and Tianna’s favorite. There’s a breakfast nook in front of a large window overlooking the front yard, granite countertops, all around with an island in the center. A beautiful yellow vintage refrigerator and a creamed color stove complete the setup. I put the mug to dry on the dish rack and see Tianna’s favorite mug, which I pick up to admire.

  Aaron made it for her as a Mother's Day gift two years ago. I took Aaron to the mall to look for a gift for her and after hours of walking we stopped at a ceramic store (they had a workshop where people could go in and paint their purchases) and Aaron selected this mug. He painted his name on one side and on the other he’d written, “To the world's best mom!” On the bottom, he’d drawn a big pink heart. It was the only mug Tianna used.

  I hold the mug a bit too long and once again my throat closes. I blink away tears and put it back. Behind me, Jaycob starts to cry once again with his face buried in his arms on the table. I cross the room and stand behind him, placing my hands on his shoulders and squeeze.

  “I'm so sorry, Jake,” I whisper, then my phone beeps with a new text message.

  Jaycob lifts his head, wipes the tears and sips coffee. I keep one hand on his shoulder and with the other check my phone. The message is from Rita saying she’s checking on us. She tells me that she took the liberty to share the news with Tianna’s coworkers and that her husband, Frank, sends his condolences. I thank her and put the phone away.

  I let go of Jaycob's shoulder and go down on my hunches to face him. I inspect his hand, which doesn’t look fractured and go to the refrigerator for a bag of frozen peas and place it on his hand.

  “Rita sends her condolences.”

  “She must be so sad too.”

  “Yeah. Says she can’t stop crying.” I press the bag to his knuckles. “Does it hurt?”

  “Ouch. Yes!” He yelps and pulls his hand back. After a few seconds, he places it back on the table and keeps the bag on it.

  “Let me know if the pain gets worse. For now, keep this on it.”

  He nods.

  I study him and after a moment say, “Jake, look at me.”

  He lifts his head and tears roll down his face.

  “I'm going to need your help. Okay?”

  “How?” he says through sniffles.

  “I’m scheduled for a meeting at the funeral home in the morning and I need you to watch Aaron for me, can you do that?”

  His face falls and I see the disappointment in his eyes. “I was hoping I could help,” he says, wiping away tears. “With the funeral and everything?”

  The process is so fucking long, complicated and difficult and I’m not sure he can handle it. But his face is full of sorrow and hope. “Okay, Jake. We’ll do this together.”

  He manages a smile through his tears and rises to give me a hug, then my phone beeps with a new text from Irene which I ignore.

  –

  The next few hours are a frenzy of phone calls, emails, and text messages. Through Rita I was able to find out that Tianna did, in fact, have life insurance with no lapses. I was able to get a lot more information from Rita alone than from anywhere else. Apparently, Tianna and Rita were closer than I first imagined, which brings me great comfort.

  Jaycob is a huge help. He took Tianna’s calendar off the wall in her room and wrote down the names of the charities she had supported over the years. One by one he contacts them to let them know that Tianna will no longer be able to give her support. He says that each one of the people he spoke with sent their prayers. Once finished with the phone calls and announcements I tell Jaycob that I need air and leave the house.

  –

  When we were young, Tianna and I used to sneak into the drive-in on Lake Mead. We couldn’t hear what was going on in the movie, but it was the idea that had appealed to us, knowing we were doing something we were not supposed to.

  The drive-in is no longer standing and in its place is a brand new shopping center.

  I sit in my Jeep in the parking lot of what used to be the drive-in with the windows rolled down, taking in the scent of wet asphalt. After a moment I decide it’s time to make the call I’ve been putting off. I inhale and dial Irene’s number. Here we go.

  10

  IRENE

  Irene is sitting on the sofa with her phone in her hand, waiting for Adam’s call when Jordyn arrives. Her daughter has turned into a beautiful young girl but Irene doesn’t understand why she refuses to dress like a normal teenage girl. All she ever wears is black. Black jeans, black T-shirts, and black Converse sneakers. She’s slim with silky black hair (not her natural color) highlighted purple in a sharp bob and long bangs that cover her green eyes.

  “Hi, Mrs. Novak!” says one of the girls.

  “Hi girls. Good to see you. Is your mom out there?”

  “No,” says Karina, the youngest one. “She only dropped us off.”

  “Okay. Well, why don’t you take your stuff up to Jordyn's room and make yourselves at home?”

  They thank her and go upstairs. Jordyn turns to follow, but Irene touches her arm and the girl turns around with a rolling of the eyes.

  “What?”

  “I’m sorry about this morning,” says Irene.

  They’d argued about the slumber party, but in the end, she gave in to show Adam that she is trying to have a good relationship with Jordyn and be a better mom or whatever—he can be a nag about such things.

  “Whatever,” says the girl and walks up the stairs. At the landing, she stops and looks down at her mom with a smile. “You don’t get it mom, but Adam does. You two should spend more time together,” she tells her mom before disappearing into her room.

  Jordyn knows how much Irene despises the lack of time and attention Adam gives her. As Irene turns to the office Jordyn reappears and says, “Since Adam’s not, here I'm assuming you're not making dinner so we’ll have pizza.”

  Irene feels the fury starting to boil within her and wants to walk up those stairs and slap her daughter across the face, teach her some respect.

  “Sure, honey,” she says instead. “Let me know what you girls want on it.”

  Satisfied, Jordyn nods and goes back to her room, then Irene sends Adam a text.

  –Hi. I’m ordering pizza for the girls and thought I’d ask if you want anything special on it. Let me know ASAP.

  She hits send and waits for the bubble to change from delivered to read. One minute turns to three, turns to five and the status does not change. Where is he?

  “Mom!”

  Irene is startled by the scream and turns to find Jordyn standing behind her.

  The girl narrows her eyes. “What's wrong with you? You’re like, gone.”

  Irene sits on the sofa, trying to appear normal. “Nothing.”

  Jordyn looks at her another moment, then rolls her eyes. “Whatever,” she says and gives her mom a piece of paper. “We’re ready to order.”

  “Oh, right.” Irene takes the paper from Jordyn containing their choices for toppings.

  “You sure you're okay?”

  “Yes,” she says with a nervous laugh. “I'm fine.”

  –

  As promised the pizza arrives within thirty minutes and the girls rush down as soon as they hear the doorbell. Jordyn takes the pizza to the family room while Irene brings plates and cups and they serve themselves. She joins them and takes a slice of pepperoni with mushrooms, then sits on the sofa and takes a bite of the greasy pizza. While the girls discuss the latest school gossip Irene’s mind wanders.

  When the girls are finished and gone upstairs Irene has no idea how much time has passed. She stands and attempts to clean up their mess, but gives up, throwing up her hands in defeat, then drops on the sofa to watch a rerun of The King of Queens and after a few minutes, she falls asleep.

  –

  It’s dark out when Adam’s call finally comes through. She’s startled by the phone’s high volume and immediately picks up the call while s
he rubs her sleepy eyes. “Hey.”

  “You texted earlier?”

  She’s angry that he didn’t even bother to read her text. Pick your battles, Irene, she thinks. “Um… I wanted to ask if you wanted anything special on your pizza but that was ages ago, we already ate.”

  Adam is quiet for a while, then clears his throat. “I'm calling to let you know I’m not coming home tonight.”

  “Oh. How come?”

  “Is Tianna. She, uh. She…” he trails off

  She closes her eyes. Wait for it… wait for it.

  “She passed away this morning.”

  And there it is! The grin on her face is pure delight; she rests her head back feeling relieved as if all of her worries have melted away with those words.

  “Really?”

  “Yes, really.”

  She can hear the sadness in his voice and it makes her jealous. But soon she’ll be the one to comfort him. He’ll see what a good wife she is and he’ll fall in love with her again.

  When Adam’s parents passed away Tianna was the one to comfort him; this time he has nowhere to go but into Irene’s arms. “Wow. That's shocking.”

  He says nothing.

  “But why can't you come home? I don’t understand what—”

  “I’m staying at Tianna’s with Jaycob and Aaron.”

  Her stomach tightens knowing those two will be trouble. “Oh, yeah. That's a good idea. Do you want me to bring you some clothes? I—”

  “No, I’m fine.”

  She doesn’t like the fact that he’s being so distant and rude. “Okay. Well, let me know if there's anything I can do.”

  “Thanks,” he says in a dry tone and before he goes, she asks, “You’re not going to ask how Jordyn's party’s going?”