The Undertaking of Adam Novak Read online

  The service gets underway and I finally see Irene sitting in the back. She’s looking straight ahead with what appears to be amusement on her face. Jordyn is sitting next to her with her head down. I look to my lap and shake my head. I’m I prepared to leave that girl?

  Jaycob and Rita are crying and I hold Aaron’s hand through it and squeeze it once in a while to let him know I’m here. Rita does her best to console Jaycob as he trembles with each contained sob.

  I’m deep in thought when Aaron nudges me on my side with his elbow indicating that it’s time to go.

  Jaycob, Frank, Charles, myself and two of Tianna’s friends, whose names I can’t remember help carry the casket. Rita takes Aaron’s hand and they follow. We place the casket in the hearse, the doors close and we start the short and slow procession to the gravesite. Most of the people leave after the service and only a handful of us make our way behind the hearse.

  “Hang in there,” I whisper in Jaycob’s ear as we walk.

  He only nods, his red eyes fixed ahead. Irene makes her way to the front so we walk side by side and Aaron immediately reaches for my hand and holds on tight.

  “You look good,” she says to me.

  I look at her for a moment and shake my head. Is she for real right now?

  “Want to get lunch after?”

  What is wrong with this woman! I clench my jaw and shake my head again. The sooner I tell her about my decision, the better it will be for both of us. For everyone.

  Jordyn joins us and takes a hold my free hand, squeezes and then lets it go. Her unspoken gesture is comforting.

  –

  Once at the gravesite as the pallbearers resume our position behind the hearse, my stomach drops and I literally feel my blood go cold. Levy Palmer has replaced one of Tianna’s friends. He nods nonchalantly and reaches for the casket. I try to pull back his arm and hold on so tight my knuckles turn white. He shrugs off and proceeds to help carry the casket. I do the same and we carry Tianna to her final resting place. My heart is pounding and my vision blurs with rage. I look to Aaron who is standing by Rita’s side and wonder if he recognizes his father. Jaycob has lost all color from his face and looks clammy, with a sheen of sweat on his forehead despite the cold wind.

  We place the casket on the bier and go sit down. Aaron, Jaycob and I take the chairs While everyone else stands. I look at Levy with disdain and confusion.

  Jaycob leans in to whisper in my ear, “What the fuck is he doing here?”

  “I have not a fucking clue.”

  The crowd gathers around and I lose sight of Levy. I stand and scan the small crowd, but I can’t find him. Who told him?

  I turn to Rita and whisper, “Did you see him?”

  “Who?”

  “Levy.”

  She looks shocked. “Was that him? The bald guy?”

  I nod. “Do you know who told him?”

  “No!” She gives me a hard look. “I don’t even know him.”

  As the service goes on I’m no longer paying attention. I can’t concentrate as I keep craning my neck to try to find him. My hands are fists and my heart is racing. I finally see him in the distance behind some shrubbery talking to… Irene? I squint my eyes, trying to make sense of what I’m seeing. It’s difficult to see, but I’m one hundred percent sure it’s Irene behind the bushes, with him. So it was you. Apparently, they’ve been in contact for who knows how long. Minutes later I see a figure, Levy, emerge from behind a bush and get into a black van then drives away. Irene is making her way back to the gathering with the same amused look on her face. She has a lot of explaining to do.

  When the time comes to say goodbye, everyone walks past the casket, leaving a white rose on it, then each person makes their way to us to shake our hand. Julia cries when she hugs Aaron and Jaycob; she skips me, but I don’t care. People give their condolences and start to disperse. Irene gives me a hug, but I make it brief, then she walks away with her daughter in tow. Rita gives each of us a hug and tells us to stay strong.

  26

  AARON

  Aaron is pretty sure he’s seen the man before—the bald one with the shiny head. He senses the unease in Uncle Adam and Jaycob. Sure, there are lots of people that Aaron doesn’t know, people he’s never seen before who have come to say goodbye to his mom but this man… there’s something familiar about him. Now Jaycob looks like he might throw up.

  Aaron wishes everything to be over already and have his mom rest in peace. Jordyn stands behind Aaron with her hands on his shoulders. It’s hard to not see the anger in Uncle Adam’s face and the confusion in Jaycob’s. The mysterious man has disappeared as quickly as he arrived. Who is he?

  When the time comes to say the final goodbye, everyone walks past the coffin, leaving a rose and then they go to shake Aaron’s hand and tell him how sorry they are. The November afternoon is cold and dead leaves blow their way as people start to leave and then it’s just the three Novak boys.

  Uncle Adam stands behind Aaron and Jaycob and puts an arm around each of their shoulders. “It’s just us now, guys,” he says.

  “Are you sure about that?” Jaycob jerks a thumb over his shoulder.

  Uncle Adam turns to see Irene approaching. He sighs and says he’ll be right back.

  Aaron and Jaycob exchange glances when they see Irene and Uncle Adam right in each other’s faces, arguing. They’re a little too far away so Aaron isn’t able to hear what is being said but his stomach clenches. Jaycob puts a hand on his shoulder and tells him it’s time to say goodbye to his mom. Jaycob closes his eyes and places a hand on the coffin and Aaron follows suit.

  I have to say goodbye now, mom, he tells her in silence. But not forever. I know you’ll always be with me. With us, and I'll come visit you every Sunday like Uncle Adam promised and I promise to read more and be good. I love you, mamma. Tears start to fall and when he opens his eyes, he sees that Jaycob is crying too. They both wipe their tears and step back.

  “We better go,” Jaycob suggests and together they walk back to the parking lot.

  –

  The cemetery looks empty like in the scary movies he and Jaycob sometimes watch. Aaron keeps looking back over his shoulder to his mom’s coffin and watches as it gets smaller and smaller as he walks away.

  When they arrive at the car they see Jordyn leaning against it, on her phone. Her silky black hair is going every which way with the wind, but she doesn’t seem to mind.

  “Sorry guys,” she says and gives each of us a hug.

  “Thanks, Jo,” says Jaycob.

  “Where’s Adam?”

  “He's back there.” Aaron points in the direction they came from. “Talking to your mom.”

  “She's being a total bitch,” she says and the guys ignore that.

  “So what’re you guys gonna do now that your mom…” she trails off.

  “Well, since Uncle Adam’s moving in with—”

  “Aaron, don't,” Jaycob says and Jordyn narrows her eyes.

  “What?”

  “I… I thought you knew,” says Aaron, looking down and pokes at the gravel with his shoe, knowing he made a mistake.

  “Nah. It's okay,” she assures them. “I knew it was gonna happen sooner or later.”

  They are quiet for a long time and soon Irene appears on the hill. She’s almost running and looks very angry and Aaron is scared. She goes past them with the fury of a hurricane, bumping Aaron and Jaycob on the shoulder.

  “Let’s go,” she hisses to Jordyn, grabbing her by the arm and pulling her away and Jordyn doesn’t protest.

  27

  IRENE

  Levy’s surprise appearance is one Irene will never forget. And the look on Adam's face! Poor Jaycob, the kid looks like he might faint. She knew that Levy’s presence would ruffle a few feathers. She smiles now with satisfaction. Boy, her plan has been executed to perfection so far.

  Once everyone’s gathered around the coffin Irene slips away and makes a beeline for the bushes a few yards away. With the
small crowd focused on the dead woman, Irene is sure no one can see her, but looks over her shoulder to make sure and wanders behind a bush.

  Levy is there, waiting for her and pulls her in for a hug and then kisses her.

  “That was amazing!” She says in a sing-song voice. “Did you see the look on their faces?”

  “What now?”

  “On to the next phase,” she tells him.

  Levy scratches his gleaming head and nods.

  “We’ll talk later, okay? We have to be on the same page with this, Levy. No fucking around. Understand?”

  Levy nods and walks away, but not before groping Irene’s left breast.

  She bites her lower lip as Levy walks away and she smiles after him.

  –

  She waits patiently for Adam to be done with the circus so she can take him home. What the hell is taking him so long? She wonders, glancing at her watch. With a hand on her hip, she tells Jordyn to go wait in the car, then makes her way up the slope to where the coffin sits.

  The two Novak boys—and a bastard—stand side by side, all in black. With a sigh, Irene starts toward them, but before she reaches Adam, he turns around and Irene sees the fury in his eyes. He crosses to her, takes her by the elbow and violently turns her around.

  “You’re hurting me!” She jerks away. When they’ve walked far enough from the gravesite he stops.

  “What the fuck do you think you're doing?” he hisses and she gives him an innocent look.

  “Bringing Levy? Really?” He paces in a small circle with his hands on his hips. “What the fuck, Irene?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Don’t give me that,” he says. “I just saw you talking to that prick.”

  She crosses her arms over her chest. “You should thank me,” she says, rubbing her elbow. “That boy is not your responsibility anymore.”

  Adam rubs his forehead in frustration. “That boy just lost his mother! He doesn't even know who the fucker is!”

  A cold wind blows dead leaves their way and clouds cover the sun.

  “He will when he—”

  “Shut up. Shut the fuck up,” he tells her and gets right in her face. “Listen to me,” he says, but Irene looks to the floor.

  “Look at me.”

  When she doesn’t, Adam reaches over and violently lifts her chin.

  “I'm not leaving Aaron. Understand?”

  She jerks her head away from his touch and takes a step back. “I don't want him with us.”

  Adam’s face falls; it goes from anger to misery. He clenches his jaw and takes a few steps back. “I know,” he says and looks to the sky, then speaks without looking at her. “Which is why I’m moving back home. With them.”

  “What?”

  Adam puts his hands on his hips and looks down to his feet, shaking his head. “I can’t do this anymore, Irene.”

  Irene’s eyes burn, her heart accelerates and she starts to cry. “You… you can't do this.”

  She crosses to him in an attempt to embrace him, but he pushes her away.

  “I'm done,” he says and spreads his hands then walks away.

  “Adam!” she calls after him. “Adam!”

  He makes a waving gesture over his shoulder.

  She’s frozen where she stands, shivering, with a pounding heart. This can’t be. Not like this. Not for… them! Her breathing becomes heavy and she screams, “You'll regret this!”

  Adam stops, turns around and in five long strides he’s in front of her, putting his hands in his coat pockets and Irene is sure he’s refraining from slapping her.

  “Do you know what I regret?” he says, but doesn’t give her a chance to respond. “I regret meeting you. I regret not leaving you years ago, that I regret. But what I regret the most is not fighting for Tianna. I could‘ve married her.” With that, he turns on his heel and walks away.

  “She didn’t love you!”

  After a moment, when Adam has disappeared behind the hill, she turns to go. “You'll regret this,” she whispers as tears burn her eyes.

  28

  ADAM

  I am livid following my confrontation with Irene. My hands are shaking, my heart’s beating at a million beats per minute, but I’m relieved too.

  I look up at the Chilean Mesquite over Tianna's resting place and think how beautiful it is going look come springtime. I put my hands on my hips and bow my head as the tears fall effortlessly. After a moment I open my eyes and breathe in deeply.

  “I guess this is it. I’ll, uh… I’ll never forget you, Tianna. I’m sorry if I ever made you feel uncomfortable with, you know, the feelings I have for you and… everything. Thank you for all your love and for making my life worth living. Aaron… he, uh,” I clear my throat and wipe at the tears. “He’s going to be okay. I promise.”

  –

  “Where to now?” says Aaron after a brief silence.

  I glance at him in the review mirror and see that he’s no longer crying, but his eyes are red and puffy, like Jaycob’s.

  “Let's go home,” I say.

  Once on the highway after a brief period of silence, Jaycob shifts on his seat and regards me a moment. “What was that all about, back there? With Irene?”

  “I'm done with her.”

  “For good?”

  “Yes. For good.”

  We drive in comforting silence for a while. We don’t have to tell each other what we feel because what would be the point? We are broken, devastated and lost. A sense of relief hits me, however, and that weight I’d been carrying around all week has dissolved, leaving behind a sense of peace. Is it closure? I’m not sure, but I have a feeling that everything is going to be okay.

  –

  We decide to stop at WinCo to pick up some groceries. I take a shopping cart and we walk the aisles unsure of what to put in it. The store is busy and with Thanksgiving approaching everyone is looking to get a head start.

  Thanksgiving hasn’t yet arrived, but there is already Christmas merchandise on display. The smell of fried chicken from the deli makes my stomach growl. Aaron and Jaycob walk on ahead. I know we’re out of milk so we make our way to the dairy section to get a quart but I remember there are three of us under one roof and opt for a gallon instead.

  I feel guilty as we walk the aisles because I’m feeling a type of contentment that I have not felt in a long time. We just left Tianna at the cemetery so how is it possible to feel this way?

  Aaron picks up a box of Reese’s Puffs—his favorite. “Can I?” he says, walking next to me while Jaycob’s busy on his phone.

  “Sure, buddy. Throw it in.”

  He literally throws the box in the cart like a basketball to a hoop.

  “He scoooores,” he says in an announcer’s voice and mimics a crowd, making me smile. Knowing that Aaron is my purpose warms my heart. I feel free and hopeful because this kid is a light in my life.

  We continue on in silence and walk the canned soup aisle, the coffee section.

  “Me and my mom used to go shopping together,” he says, looking at everything as we pass. “She would tell me what to get and I had to guess where it was and go get it and then she gave me points for getting it super fast. But she didn’t let me run in the store so it was a little tricky, but it was still super fun.”

  “You’re a good kid, Aaron,” I say and he smiles up at me.

  I know that the three of us have to adjust to our new lives. For me, the adjustment is being back in my old home without Tianna and mom and dad. For Aaron it’s the most difficult to adjust to a life without his mom, and for Jaycob, adjusting to my presence as well.

  Aaron helps pick a few things, sliced bread, eggs, pancake mix, apple juice, more cereal and a few boxes of Mac & Cheese that, according to Aaron, is essential, even though our refrigerator is on the verge of a casserole explosion.

  –

  While Jaycob helps me load the groceries Aaron buckles in.

  “Aren’t you worried?” Jaycob’s question puzzles
me and he rolls his eyes. “About Levy,” he says.

  “Why?” I close the tailgate, dust off my hands and look at him.

  “I don't know,” he says with exasperation. “What if he wants Aaron?”

  “I won't let him.”

  29

  IRENE

  Irene drives home so fast she has a few close calls.

  “Mom, what the hell is wrong with you?”

  She doesn’t answer.

  Jordyn gets out of the car, slams the door closed and runs up to her room.

  –

  Irene slams the front door shut and throws her bag on the floor and when the contents spill out she starts kicking everything all over the place. She feels such uncontrollable rage; her body trembles and she’s starting to hyperventilate. She paces the office floor, one hand on her hip and with the other she wipes tears, snot, and perspiration.

  “You can’t fucking do this,” she murmurs. “You’ll regret this,” she repeats over and over then picks up her bag to look for her phone. With shaky hands, she manages to make the call.

  “What?”

  “Where are you?” she says, easing a hip on a corner of the desk.

  “Having lunch.”

  “I need to see you right away.”

  “I’m busy.”

  “Please,” she begs and wipes away more tears.

  “Where?”

  “My house,” she says, glancing up the stairs. “I’ll be alone.”

  “I’ll be there in a while.”

  Once the call ends Irene takes a few deep breaths to calm down. It’s going to be okay. When she feels calm enough, she proceeds to pick up her things off the floor; her wallet, keys, hand sanitizer and whatever else she carries in the bag then goes upstairs to Jordyn’s room.