The Undertaking of Adam Novak Page 8

  “What happened?” The girl scans the floor where Adam’s things are scattered. Photos, papers, reports, bills, and then she looks at her mom.

  “Mom, what—”

  “Nothing! Just… go back to your room.”

  Jordyn takes a few tentative steps into the family room and stands in shock looking at the television.

  “Mom, what did you do?” she says and walks over to inspect the now ruined screen. “Mom?”

  Irene is pacing the office.

  Jordyn approaches and asks, “Mom, what is it?”

  Irene turns to her daughter. “I… Adam. He, uh…” she trails off and sits at the foot of the stairs.

  “He what, mom?” Jordyn goes to sit next to her.

  “He’s not coming home for a few days.”

  “He has a lot to do, mom. He needs to be there for—”

  “No!” She has tears in her eyes now. “He needs to be here, with me!”

  Jordyn attempts to console her mom by offering a hug only to be pushed away.

  “Go to your room!”

  “Mom, I—”

  “Go!”

  Jordyn gets to her feet and goes up the stairs. When she’s at the landing, she turns and looks down at her mother. “You’re crazy! I hope he leaves you for good!”

  Irene runs up the stairs, determined to teach Jordyn some respect. She turns the knob, but the door doesn’t open and she bangs her fists on it.

  “Let me in, Jordyn!”

  “Go away!”

  She stops the pounding and takes a calming breath. She can be your ally, Irene, she thinks, It’s only for a few days anyway. When she feels calm enough, she goes back downstairs.

  –

  In the family room, she starts to pick up pieces of broken glass, cleans the wine off the screen and proceeds to clean the rest of the mess. When she’s done all she can, she sits on the sofa and calls Levy.

  “Yeah?” he says.

  “Change of plans.”

  22

  JORDYN

  Jordyn climbs on her bed, buries her face in her pillow and sobs. She feels so alone and wonders how much more she can take. She misses her brother Colin and also misses Adam, who hasn’t been home for days.

  She hates it here and hates that her mom is so needy and… crazy. Somehow her mom has managed to keep Adam with her all these years and Jordyn doesn’t understand why. Adam is so nice and her mom is so… again, crazy. How much more can he take? For years he’s threatened to leave but never does. Maybe her mom has some kind of superpowers or a magic potion or some weird voodoo.

  Jordyn worries though. She worries that he’ll leave, but at the same time, she wishes he would leave and take her with him, away from the crazy woman downstairs.

  Adam has been the father she never had, she doesn’t remember her real father because she was only one when he left them, or at least that’s what her mother tells her. Adam is so good to Jordyn and is always there for her. She remembers times when her mother was too busy or lazy to cook or do laundry or even help with her homework. Somehow Adam managed to do all those things and even had time to teach Jordyn how to ride a bike and cook.

  Her favorite time is when she and Adam make dinner together. They make a really great team. They pretend they’re in Iron Chef and together they create delicious food! She cries now as she recalls all the good times. It’s different now that Adam travels so much. He’s hardly ever here and most of the time Jordyn has to settle for a TV dinner or take-out. She wishes she were with them at her Aunt Tianna’s.

  She cries harder knowing Aunt Tianna is gone. She never calls her that tough, aunt. Because her mom would have killed her if she ever heard Jordyn refer to Tianna as her aunt. That’s another thing; why hate her so much? Jordyn remembers the times when Adam took her to Tianna’s and they’d do fun stuff together. Tianna was teaching Jordyn how to knit and make bracelets. Thank God her mother never found out or she would have lost it like she did just now.

  She sits up now and glances around her messy bedroom. Her bed is in a corner by the window with a dresser next to it. A desk on one side and a bookcase filled with photos of her and her friends on the other. There’s a beautiful purple flower-shaped rug that was Tianna’s who gave it to Jordyn when she got a new one. Jordyn had to tell her mom that it was a gift from one of her friends; otherwise, it would have ended up in the trash.

  Jordyn gets to her feet and starts cleaning. “There is a place for everything, and everything has its place,” Adam said that once when they were cleaning the house together. She puts on her music while she cleans and starts feeling better.

  When she’s finished, she sits at her desk to get started on her homework and while working on a geometry problem an idea comes to her. After playing with it in her head, she decides to share this idea with Adam when he gets home. The idea is this: tell Adam that they should leave. Forget about her mom and move into Tianna’s house with Jaycob and Aaron. Jordyn is old enough; she can take care of Aaron, cook and clean and do laundry. She’s pretty sure he’ll say yes and for the first time in a long time, she’s hopeful.

  When Jordyn was thirteen and Adam said he was leaving, she and Colin were ready to leave too. Not with Adam, but they were ready to run away if he left. They didn’t want to be with their mom without Adam around because she scared them.

  Jordyn sometimes feels anger toward her brother for leaving her to deal with her crazy mother. But now, if Adam says yes to her idea, she will finally be free.

  The Funeral

  November 14, 2014

  23

  ADAM

  I was able to take a week off work to prepare for Tianna’s funeral. Charles suggested I take more time, but honestly I’m ready to go back. Being in the house only makes me overthink things and doubt myself.

  Aaron returned to school on Monday, but his teacher suggested he stay home for a few more days. He was having difficulty concentrating and I was told the best thing for him was to be with family so his teacher, Mrs. Ayala, sent him home on Wednesday afternoon with a packet of homework for the rest of the week.

  It has calmed down some, but every day since Tianna’s death we’ve had an endless parade of people showing up to the house with food or calling to check on us. People I’ve never even met called to give their condolences. The Henderson Homeless Assistance, Bright Day Mission, Children First, Women’s Resilience Program, and so many other organizations for which Tianna had volunteered over the years sent flowers and cards. Tianna’s coworkers and friends held a memorial at her school the Monday following her death and from what Rita told me, it was an emotional event.

  Speaking of Rita, she’s been amazing all week. She brought dinner for us even though the refrigerator is stuffed with casseroles of every kind. She came to the house every day after work to help Aaron with his homework and after he went to bed she stayed to keep me company. If the weather was nice we sat out on the back deck with some beers and reminisced about Tianna.

  Jaycob returned to work saying he needed to keep busy. He slept most of the day and worked at night so we haven’t had a chance to talk about the funeral.

  I still haven’t told Irene my plan to move permanently. She keeps blowing up my phone with texts that I ignore and calls I never answer. Jordyn asked if she could stay with us for a few days because her mom has been in a horrible mood all week, but as much as I want that, I know Irene will never let it happen. I emailed Julia and Irene the information for the funeral as a common courtesy. Irene didn’t respond, but my sister did, saying how sorry she was about Tianna.

  As much as we want to get things back to normal—or at least create a new routine for us—it’s nearly impossible as Tianna’s presence is everywhere. I had a difficult time sleeping the night before—or any other night for that matter—thinking about the funeral.

  It’s going to be a difficult day and I want to get a head start. As I’ve been doing for the last few mornings, upon waking up I go to check on Aaron who’s still sleeping. It
’s after five in the morning and Jaycob took the night off, but I check his room to be sure and find him snoring. I go to the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth and stare at my own eyes in the mirror. The lack of sleep has taken a toll; the shadows under my eyes are persistent as is my pale complexion. I lack the energy to do any exercise but decide to go for a run.

  Back in Tianna’s room, I change into sweat pants, a Las Vegas Aviators sweatshirt and my running shoes. Before leaving I write a quick note and attach it to the coffee machine in case Jaycob or Aaron wake up looking for me.

  –

  It’s a cold, crisp morning with a soft breeze blowing, but once I start stretching my muscles and moving my body I acclimate pretty quickly to the cold.

  From a young age, running has been my escape. Anytime I feel overwhelmed—which is often—or need to clear my head, a run, no matter how short, always helps. With so much going on I’m not sure a quick lap around the block will help put my thoughts in order but I need a release valve.

  I turn left on Pacific and run straight to Atlantic. The sun makes its appearance as I cross Texas Avenue. I love running at this hour, especially this time of year. Morning dew covers the perfectly manicured yards casting a soft glow under a Prussian blue sky. With my mind momentarily at ease, I’m able to conjure a script for my conversation with Irene later. It appears so clear and my bravado grows with each step. I hate the fact that the whole situation with Irene has taken priority in my head instead of my focusing on Tianna. I’m sure that once it’s all said and done, things will only get better, for both of us. We’ll go our separate ways. I’ll pay alimony, which is not a concern; she’ll meet a nice guy and make her own life. As for me, I’ll focus my attention on Aaron and nothing else. I’ll continue to see Jordyn as much as possible and we’ll all live happily ever after.

  By the time I reach Water Street, I’ve broken a sweat. I make it back to Pacific, where I run a sprint the last few blocks. I slow my pace down as I reach the house and pace the yard until my breathing goes back to normal. The sky is clear despite the forecast calling for a storm in the evening.

  –

  I go to the kitchen to get the coffee going then to the bathroom for a quick shower. I feel gloomy all of a sudden, with a heavy weight in my chest. Tianna passed away a week ago, but I’m still unable to get used to the idea, the finality. I stand under the hot water for a long time. I’m not ready to say goodbye to her and it hurts knowing I have no choice. I want to believe that there is an afterlife and that we’ll see each other again. But how can I know for sure? Tears start to fall and a sob escapes and hope the sound of running water will muffle the sound. My body trembles with each sob and I have no idea how I’m going to get through the day.

  After a while, I shut off the water and step out of the shower. I trim my stubble, style my hair in the usual fox hawk and get dressed. I put on my shoes and dump my dirty clothes in the hamper.

  –

  I pour some coffee and decide to make pancakes for breakfast. I’m taking out the ingredients when Aaron walks in. He mumbles a greeting, grabs a glass from the cupboard and takes the milk out of the refrigerator.

  “Hey, buddy. How’d you sleep?”

  He shrugs and I nod. No words necessary, which sums up the kind of week it has been. I flip a pancake onto a plate and place it on the breakfast bar. He stirs in some chocolate syrup into his glass and sits. The silence stretches for a long time until finally, I say, “Rough night?”

  Another nod.

  “Why didn’t you wake me?”

  “I talked to Rita on the phone. I hope that was okay?”

  I place a stack of pancakes on the bar and say, “As long as you don’t make it a habit.” I rub his head and sit across from him.

  “Are you feeling better today?”

  “I don't know,” he says with an elbow on the table, his hand supporting his face. “I feel sad.”

  “I know. Not gonna be easy, that's for sure.”

  He nods and Jaycob comes in.

  “Hey,” he says.

  “Morning,” I tell him.

  He grabs his coffee and sits to join us.

  “Feeling okay?” I ask Jaycob.

  “Today sucks.”

  We eat in silence and then Jaycob begins to clear the table. Now I know why Tianna’s kitchen is always spotless—the entire house, for that matter. Jaycob hates clutter and is constantly working on keeping everything in order. He can’t even stand to see one dirty dish in the sink because it causes him anxiety. Aaron seems to understand and he’s always looking to help out, for Jaycob’s benefit. I had no idea how bad it was until now.

  “I’m gonna miss her,” says Aaron and hangs his head. I crouch down by his side to give him a hug and he buries his face in my shoulder and starts to cry. I hold him for as long as he needs me to. Jaycob looks at as us and he too starts to cry. When Aaron lets go I wipe his tears with a napkin.

  “I miss her so much,” he says with a sob.

  “I know, buddy. I do too.”

  Jaycob walks to us and puts his hands on our shoulders. “But we can do this,” he says. “As much as it hurts, we need to do it… for her.”

  24

  IRENE

  The week crawled on by at the speed of a snail for Irene who spent it shopping. She bought a whole new wardrobe, got her hair done, enjoyed a quiet day at the spa, and got all caught up with the latest season of Game of Thrones.

  Her many attempts to reach Adam were futile. Every call had gone to voicemail and every text unread. He did, however, send out an email to fifteen recipients with the details for the stupid funeral. She thought about skipping the funeral altogether, but doesn’t want to miss the look on Adam's face when her surprise arrives. She will not miss that for the world.

  She wakes up just before ten, giving her less than an hour to get ready. She stretches luxuriously on the bed and yawns, and then gets out of bed and into the bathroom to wash her face. “Big day today,” she says to the mirror, with a big smile on her face.

  From the closet, she pulls out the outfit she chose the night before; after all, it’s her special day and she wants to look her best, not only for Adam but for Ken, too. She’d chosen black trousers, a black blouse, a double-breasted wool coat in charcoal gray and goes to get Jordyn who is at her desk, crying.

  “Let's go!” Irene tells her with impatience and walks downstairs without waiting for her daughter. Minutes later Jordyn charges down the stairs without saying a word and goes past her mom out of the house and into the car.

  –

  The chapel at the cemetery is filled to capacity and Irene doesn’t understand where all the people have come from. She removes her sunglasses to scan the place, looking for Adam. When she doesn’t see him she and Jordyn sit in a pew towards the back. It’s a large, gothic style building with a high ceiling and archways that seem to stretch up for miles. The place can easily sit well over five hundred people and every pew is occupied. Children, high school kids, older people, and someone even brought their service dog.

  Once her eyes adjust to the dimness she spots Adam and smiles. He’s sitting in the front with Aaron to his left and Jaycob on his right. She’s tempted to walk over, plant a kiss on Adam’s lips and sit next to him. She doesn’t. She’ll have plenty of time to spend with her husband once this circus is over.

  There’s a red haired woman in the front sitting next to Jaycob. Julia and Ken are sitting in the second row, behind Adam. Charles, Adam’s boss, is here with his wife as well. Other than that Irene doesn’t recognize anyone else. A few people are crying, which annoys the crap out of her. But her attention is now focused on the wooden box. A smile creeps up and she allows herself that much, after all, her enemy is inside that coffin.

  25

  ADAM

  We drive to the cemetery in complete silence. Only the sniffles and soft cries from Jaycob and Aaron fill the car. My throat feels tight and my eyes sting, but I don’t say a word. What can I say? I’m no
t sure how much longer I can contain my pain because breaking down in front of Aaron and Jaycob is not an option.

  The day is clear and cold with an occasional gust of wind. The cemetery is only twenty minutes from home, but we leave early enough and are the first to arrive at the cemetery’s chapel.

  –

  Organ music is playing softly. At the front, surrounded by colorful floral arrangements is Tianna’s casket, along with an array of standing sprays and sympathy wreaths. The burning candle casts a beautiful glow off the casket’s mahogany finish. In the middle of the beautiful forest is a large photo of Tianna. Aaron and Jaycob had gone through dozens of photos before settling on one of Tianna at Rita’s wedding. In it, she’s wearing a custard color bride’s maid dress and her hair is styled in what they call a beehive. Her beautiful smile reaches her eyes, which sparkle in the sunlight. Rita had it blown up in size at Walgreens and added a frame to match the casket.

  The three of us walk on the green-carpeted floor toward the front and as soon as we reach Tianna, Jaycob breaks down. He reaches and places a shaky hand on the casket and keeps it there for a moment while Aaron remains by my side. I put my hands on Jaycob’s shoulders and ease him back.

  “Come on, Jake,” I say and we go sit down.

  As people start to arrive, they come by to give their condolences, each with a sad look on their face. Julia and Ken arrive and they approach to greet with fake hugs. They choose the pew behind us even though ours is empty. Julia never accepted Tianna as part of our family and I assume that’s a point she still wants to make clear.

  Charles and his wife, Deborah, are here as are other people from work. Rita and her husband, Frank, sit next to us. Tianna and Rita were like sisters so I find it appropriate for her to sit with us, her family. Rita introduces me to a few people from Tianna’s school. I don’t get to meet them all but there are so many people who knew and loved Tianna. Representatives from the women’s shelter and other organizations, Tianna’s students, fellow teachers, and faculty are also present.